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Late Night Letters

by Helen Bell

/
1.
It should’ve been too cold to lie on the ground But we did anyway It would’ve been too awkward to say the things we didn’t But I think we will one day I like the way you pull me out into the world from in my head I like it too when there’s nothing but big blank blue and you come out of yours instead And we slow down now, all the day birds are asleep now The hawthorn hasn’t flowered yet, Mars is just about to set There was an owl, and how we loved it And now its absence has two bats flitting above it And below them a wide space for all the words to explore And I don’t mind how they find whatever they think they’re looking for Slow down now, slow down, slow down now. Strange how the blackbirds always seem so alarmed By the arrival of dusk I think the gentle unfolding of the night Might be quite like us I don’t know why, but it kind of reminds me of the way Some things are easier to write than they ever could be to say And now we know it all by way of late night letters And we haven’t got to talking yet, but I think it will be better
2.
Molecule 04:20
It was one of those days when our minds slipped behind a molecule together Came out new and shining, no-one knew where we’d been Shaping up to be one of those nights when all the colours run bright down in the river Saturate our every whisper as we walk by, and it would seem We would follow every stream of intuition to its source Except we always go exquisitely off course Such interruptions of my mission are a force of our collective nature I never quite find my my way to saying... I am here to hold your aching mind If you would let me near the sadness tucked behind the corner of your eye On occasional days Like little lanterns in the grey You’ve sheltered some shattered pieces of me And if I knew how I’d do the same If I knew how I’d do the same It was one of those nights when your mouth could be a bit persuasive The closer to the corners the sweeter it stings Don’t you know if you do that it’s gonna burn for ages It’ll run for several pages of over-analysing things Stretch on the grass and feel the early-summer tension Wonder how long we can hold on this suspension How can either of us be the first to mention when it’s gone on this long? Why can’t I find my way to saying...
3.
So you and I have both agreed Not to use the telescope again We slipped behind the door And shifted the focus through the rain But that new constellation In all its magnificence Is best left dusted and muted At a distance Like the way I should have maybe stayed But I forgot to Like the way I’m saying this In the way you taught me not to I’m pretending I’m not squinting at the sky Where somewhere far it’s bright as when it seemed close enough to touch But you know how I always remember And I remember It was so silver It made me tremble so much
4.
There are some hopes inhabiting the widest orbits And the only way is to reel them in and swallow them like a pill To keep them from tearing us limb from heart from mind from body from ground Contained in ever-shrinking circles, let them be stabilised and still It’s not the same as letting them shatter It’s not as much as letting them go But it stops the feeling of ever-ripping pages Of summer-thunder rages Reduces wildfire to a glow And I still miss the way we were so hungry And I will grieve for the versions of us who had to die I sometimes wonder what their ghosts get up to Chasing round the dark ellipses of the sky Now the hills and valleys enfold you closer Now I can rhyme with rocks and tessellate with trees And I am unlearning and learning you, just as you are with me As we brush away the scales of winter, find something gleaming green And gravity is not a liar See how eccentric we’ve each become And our orbits’ intersection Moves us in the same direction But now I know we circle different suns

about

Late Night Letters is an EP that forms the first volume of my next (as yet untitled) album.

The full album will cover a range of topics, which can be broadly categorised into three main themes: how we interact with each other, how we interact with the digital world, and how we interact with the physical world (although there is of course always a degree of overlap between them).

While I want the full album to contain all of these elements muddled in together, as they are in life, I also like the idea of distilling them a little more, to form themed EPs, so the songs might ultimately be presented in two different contexts.

The other – rather more practical – reason is that doing it this way enables me to break down the recording process into smaller, more focused tasks, and lets me share more finished songs sooner, as recording a full album is quite a daunting and lengthy process for me.

This first volume is the one that focuses on relationships between people. These four songs were written in late 2018 and early 2019, just after the release of my first album, Roll as a Hexagon. The musical influences within them reflect three of the other musical activities I was involved in around that time.

The first of these was a return to playing Javanese gamelan, after a break of six years. The second was being assigned deputy violin duty in agit-swing band Reason Breeds Monsters [ reasonbreedsmonsters.bandcamp.com ] for a one-off gig, and the third was the Berry Tree Band, a folk trio with a focus on harmony singing – a new area for me, as my background in traditional folk beforehand had been almost entirely instrumental.

“Easier to Write” is fairly standard piano-based singer-songwriter fare, although with the slightly less standard addition of an EWI. (For those not familiar with this instrument – a group which included me until 2020 – it stands for Electronic Wind Instrument, and it’s a synth controller in a wind paradigm. Some people refer to it as a Space Clarinet, though I think this is a bit speculative. We don’t know what the clarinets from space are like. They may even be sentient.)

“Molecule” has a bit of jazz-influenced harmony, and a few slightly gamelanesque melodies, and leads into “Constellation” which uses actual gamelan samples amongst piano and strings, and a few structural elements adapted from gamelan forms within its composition too.

“Hymn of the Orbital” is modelled on folk hymns, with a Hammond organ in quarter-comma meantone tuning thrown in for good measure (incidentally, while persuading the software Hammond organ plugin to go into meantone, we found out that in the physical world this is completely impossible due to the way that Hammond organs work, but that’s probably more than you needed to know).

credits

released February 8, 2022

All songs written and arranged by Helen Bell

Recorded by Helen Bell and Xenogon

Produced and mixed by Xenogon and Helen Bell

All instruments and vocals performed by Helen Bell except drums and bass on track 2 by Xenogon

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Helen Bell UK

Prog/folk/pop singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist specialising in viola and keyboard instruments.

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